Urgh I can’t sleep. Slept during the afternoon because it was adi’s nap time and we all woke up around 5pm already. Tomorrow, I’ll be going back to the house since adi’s new yaya has arrived, I promised to take her out to fudge later after school. Things have changed since adi and I got to spend time together and I’m going to miss her more now that I have to be back home. She’s such a cute kid, I love kids they have a way of making me feel that the world isn’t complicated. The fact that I have to simplify things and explanations can be simple only if you sit down and make an effort. Sometimes, its harder for adults to just explain the simplest answers. Like why do some people say that its okey when its not? when we sometime say yes when we really want to say no or vise versa?
I can’t sleep and I have to be in school before 8 for a presentation. I’ve been so clumsy lately, losing things out of carelessness now I have to literally pay for it. :(
lately things have been a bit difficult and I haven’t been able to just concentrate and focus. I have a show coming up, practice this saturday but I’m stuck struggling to memorize the 1st 2 paragraph of my 3page monologue. My theater director in school has been up my ass for the last 3 weeks. I haven’t been doing good with my academics and I can’t seem too do anything right. It’s quite frustrating and disappointing for myself and others.
I sometimes feel like I just want to run away and just stay there and just think for awhile. So far spending time with friends outside from school has provided me a breathe of fresh.air, balancing things out.
Tonight, the weather is a bit chilly and I like it. It’s cold, always like cold except on my food or when people become cold. Just a question, does distance make it harder for couples to stay together? Why does it always cause tension? What ever happened to the saying that absence just makes the heart go fonder? Is that even true? I don’t know. I think though that distance is healthy, I mean a good amount of distance because sticking like glue everday all-day can fuck up the person, one way or the other. It can surely fuck up someone like me, whose too attached and have a hard time letting go. I hate goodbyes, its the worse gesture or move ever, especially when I’m not ready or if its so sudden. It questions every bit of you, like if you weren’t enough? Didn’t you try enough? And the list goes on. You stick it out with people you care about a lot, you battle hell and go back to stay, sometimes you even risk being called pathetic or a martyr or even set aside pride and be shamelessly called stupid or embrace stupidity just to stay, so nothing changes and things will remain the same. Its easy to say move on, but its never easy for someone who have loved genuinely or those who have given a part of themselves to something or someone they have to move on from. Some people say they’ve moved on but I thibk they’ve just got used to the fact that its no longer there.
There’s really no quota on how many times you need to try and fight for something or someone, usually what I do is to exhaust all option, try everything and anything until I’ll wake up one day that I don’t even want to try anymore, when both my heart and mind has unanimously agreed not to do anything anymore.
Shux, I’m sleepy already, I might have to wrap this up.. Hmm… So how should I end this?
I’ll end it with sweet dreams and a prayer, that my favorite couple may not forget that struggles are present not because its not meant to be but should be seen as something that will just make them even more stonger. And that absence doesn’t necessarily means that they’ve lost their feelings or the intensity has subsided. I won’t deny it but I’m not ready for things to end and for things to change, it’s not for me to decide on true, I’m just saying.
This is going to be my 1002nd post. Hello to my new followers, thank you for taking an interest in whatever I have to say, think or post.
Last night while I was looking through the glass wall, looking outside, looking at people and cars passing by, looking through whats left from the festivities over the weekend a thought hit me - the world I’m in is so complex and it starts to scare me.
I guess its inevitable that when you’re older, you get into situations that can sometimes go out of hand, situations when you just hope you can escape from or just end without having to hurt anyone or without having to lose anyone, without having to change things or without having to change people well the reality is when we get older our actions are not only for ourselves but also for others and even if we do something about it or not do anything about it there will always be an effect on things, on people, their lives and ours.
Like in relationships, lets say cheating. There is never a perfect relationship, there always that percentage that you will hate in your partner, that small percentage that always seems to override the bigger percentage, the reasons why you like and love that person, anyway point is someone asked me when does cheating start? Someone told me and I’d have to agree with him/her that cheating starts when you start looking for that little percentage and act on it. Do you agree? It’s when you decide to throw that bigger percentage for a small percentage for something that may or may be mean time.
I’ve already come to terms that no matter how some relationships can be strong, they will always be tested with temptation and most of the time it is the temptation of cheating or maybe checking out someone else. What I probably don’t understand is why there are people who can’t seem to appreciate a good thing that is in front of them? How they always seem to look for things that might make them more happy and after a few months after the break-up they ask for another chance. That’s fucking pathetic, really. You made that person went through hell just because you want to find your happiness and now that she/he’s alright and have moved on you come back and put him/her through hell again. Whats that? I tell you, screw yourself up! You left once so might as well just stay there.
They say, love can be learned but honestly speaking, it can’t, it’s a whole different ball game when you’re the one that is into that person, you can make hell heaven when you’re with someone you’re initially really into.
Some people aim and want to find happiness, well happiness starts when you appreciate what you have in front of you, when everyday you wake up and thank the heavens that someone cares and loves you that much because not everyone gets that chance nor will ever feel that from anybody else. Peace of mind comes when you just stop looking at the negative things happening in your life and just start feeling grateful looking at the good things that are coming your way. You call it blessing. You can never achieve happiness or feel any peace of mind if you continue to look beyond what is in front of you, I’m not saying to settle, I’m saying that making the most of what is in front of you is a way of showing gratitude that someone up there has given you a blessing. Maybe not what you wished or hoped for but maybe it’s what you need in your life.
Because this is how you lose the good people in your life, it’s not by to stop loving them, it by not appreciating them.
Meet the theater members for a quick meeting and some reminders.
Here’s a photo of me and the other officers. Trea (auditor) Me (Treasurer) Anna Lee (VP-External) Thanks hanzy for uploading this photo right away! hehe
was suppose to meet with the lady loves for chill night at starmart but the sun network effed up again and some of the messages came in late so for the nth time the attempt of a get together failed! But I terribly miss my girls, I feel like I need to hang out with them just to balance out my life.
I decided to visit Anther at the radio station where I got to talk to one of the Dj’s Indy and she was such a cool chick to talk to, really chill. Bad news is that Shiela wasn’t able to add me to the guestlist for VIP for the Sonic Boom event, I was really looking forward to watch Urbandub perform live since I was so bummed out with the canceled General Luna sinulog gig. So we went for our usual walk along jones avenue to Metro Colon. Stopped by KFC for dinner and camwhored. Here is some of the photos we took during photo sessions
Then here’s a photo of me plus pete doing our board job in the radio station
ohhh and lookie my watermelon nails!
It’s the day before the Sinulog Festival, a lot of people are in town now but I’m thinking twice if I’m joining the festivities this year because I have so many things to do with midterms week coming up. My friends are gonna kill be but we’ll see. According to the wisdom of my professor Miss Baring, choosing school over partying is called growing up… or turning 30! hahaha
“I guess that’s what saying goodbye is always like—like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you’re in the air, there’s nothing you can do but let go.”—Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (via make-me-smile)
A photo taken last december during a mini reunion slash get together of gradeschool classmates to welcome RAE back after migrating to the US 10 years ago. She’s back to finish medschool here. Too bad I had to leave right away cause I had school duties but its great to see people you haven’t seen for a couple of months already. Oh yeah and this time tambis was able to join our spontaneous reunion slash gathering in person and not through phone patch! haha Everyone was so fond of kayc’s baby enzo who was superkadooper adorable!
Photonapped from Kayc
Photo from Tito Ramon’s birthday. I was given the chance to host the program, twas fun! Photos from dodong.
Sonic Boom Sinulog Blast-Off 2011 THREAD! Fest! a celebration of merch & music. a gathering of Cebu’s top independent local clothing brands!
Nick Automatic Scars Killapinas TeeDee Hear & Wear Spread The Virus Monster Ink Strawberry Schizo Product Of Uranus Markov Clothing
5:00pm to 7:00pm THREAD! Fest! Foc Fashion Drop Out Club Kuwago Shuffled Good Morning High Fives March The Sky Bethany Midsummer
7:00pm to 9:00pm BROTHERHOOD: BOOM! Sirens Lightyear Detached
9:00pm to 1:00am BLAST-OFF MAIN SHOW!! Twinkle Dudu Jejaview Powerspoonz Campbell The Ambassadors Gasulina December Avenue The Line Divides Urbandub Love Me Butch Faspitch
EARLY BIRD RATE Php 250.00 with a cup of Jack Cola If you get IN-LINE between 2:00pm to 5:00pm! *ONE PERSON, ONE TICKET POLICY REGULAR RATE Php 350.00 with a cup of Jack Cola
If you get IN-LINE 5:00pm onwards! VIP Rate Php 650.00 - 50 SLOTS ONLY Sonic Boom Logo Shirt + 2 Drinks + Platfrom Section + Sonic Boom Limited edition CD *for VIP reservations, please PM Kaloy Uypuanco, facebook.com/kaloyuypuanco
Grand Ballroom Cebu Grand Convention Center 2nd flr. Grand Majestic, Archbishop Reyes Ave. Saturday, January 15, 2011 Tickets will be sold at the venue starting at 2:00pm Gates will open at 4:00pm See you there BOOM BRIGADES!
I wish I can describe how I feel today, I feel…. bothered and a bit disheartened.
I’m listening to Franco’s Song for the suspect trying to kick the bad vibes clouding my entire system right now.
I feel like I have to do something right cause other people can’t help but make me feel like everything that I’m doing is wrong. Wish they could just stop and leave me alone like seriously just leave me alone! News flash: I know what I’m doing even if you think I don’t so if I screw up can you please stop reminding me about it let me fix and deal with this when I’m ready as of the moment can someone just spare me all nagging and trying to expose my dirty laundry for everyone to see. ITS NOT COOOL. I’m getting irritated.